Duo-- girl or guy?
by Pythia
Summary: Duo's gender test conducted by Hee-chan, Wuffers, Quatty, and Trowie


Standard disclaimers apply.  
  
Duo-- girl or guy?  
  
Duo was sleeping peacefully, beams of pale moonlight washing across him. His darkened room revealed nothing to him about what was about to happen for, unbeknownst to Duo, there were shadows lurking outside his window. Four shadows, to be exact.  
  
"Quiet!" Heero hissed, eyes narrowing at Wufei, who had stumbled on some tree roots. The Chinese boy glowered at him, as if to say "Well, I have no place else to walk because you whiny-assed dingbats are hogging all the pavement!" Heero snubbed him, shrugging a shoulder as if to tell the other boy off. "Gee... I wonder who's Miss Prima Donna today..." he muttered, glaring holes through the Japanese boy's head. He was greeted with another shrug of a shoulder, and prepared to lunge at the 'Perfect Soldier'. But was stopped by Quatre, "Stoppit you guys! You're making enough noise! We have to focus on our mission!" The two boys sighed with a "Yeah... you're right." and a "This is a mission????"  
  
Duo tossed and turned restlessly. He seemed to sense that something was not right.  
  
Trowa turned the doorknob, since he had quiet hands. They peered inside to look at a fidgety Duo. His hair was thrown about and, if you didn't look carefully, you'd think he was a girl. Heero smirked, then checked something on the clipboard he was holding. Then, Wufei and Quatre slowly stepped up to the long-haired Shinigami, holding some kind of cloth in their hands. They lunged at him, and threw the cloth over his head, then pulled it down. Duo's eyes flew open and he screamed. Nice and loud. Just like a girl.   
  
Heero smirked again and checked something on the board.  
  
Next, the two stuffed Duo's flailing arms into the cloth's 'arm-holes'. Trowa, who was watching them, then switched on the lights. Immediately, Quatre and Wufei pulled the chestnut-haired boy up to his feet. Heero's eyes grew wide as he saw the boy, hair drooping over his shoulders, and figure exposed in a disheveled prom gown. He quickly checked something on the board. Twice. Thrice. A few more checks later, and he turned to Q and W. He nodded to them and to the confused AND helpless Duo. Then they proceeded to rip the gown off. Then Wufei pulled something out of nowhere. A... bra???? Quatre smiled, then took it from the pony-tailed boy. He put in on Duo inless than a second. Then he got two waterballoons from his pant's pocket. He stuffed them inside the bra's cups, then backed away to show Heero and Trowa. They're jaws dropped. Duo's did, too. Heero checked something again, then scribbled something, then checked again. He went over what he had written, then grinned(if Heero can even grin). "He's positive," the cobalt-eyed pilot said. "Hah! I TOLD you!" Wufeisaid, a triumphant look on his face. Trowa and Quatre just nodded. Duo stared at them, "I'm positive? A positive what?" Heero smiled, "Girl."   
  
"WHAT?????!!!!"  
  
"Girl."  
  
"WHY ME????!!!!"  
  
"Because you look like a girl."  
  
"But what about Quatre?! *HE* looks like a girl!!!"  
  
"I know. We already tested him."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Guy."  
  
"WHAT?! WWWWHHHHHHHHYYYY????!!!!"  
  
"He doesn't have long hair."  
  
Duo then gave them all a weird look, then fell back. He moaned, then fainted.  
  
Trowa, Quatre and Wufei all looked at Heero, with questioning looks on their faces. Heero just shrugged, "Mission accomplished?" They nodded, then one by one filed out of the room, leaving Duo(who was still in his briefs and the waterballoon bra) to himself.  
  
***  
  
Relena was skipping around Quatre's mansion, when she stumpled upon an open door. It was dark inside so she wanted to check up on it. She peered inside and--  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
She ran, screaming out of the house, never to be seen again.  
  
And inside the darkened room, a single voice rand out...  
  
"Wha? Whuddat? Mmmm... Shaddup.. I'm sleeping..."  



End file.
